06anger

I was watching Oprah yesterday where she was discussing abusive husbands in her show. It just made me think about how a male in the Pakistani society can get away with so much because of his gender. His abusive nature or poor anger management is ignored (and even admired) by comments like “bahut garam khoon hay”, “Mughlon waala ghussa hay”, “kabhi kabhi paara charh jaata hay” and even “angry young man hay”. The fact is anyone overreacting (by getting verbally or physically abusive) when angry has a problem. The problem needs professional treatment. Again in Pakistani culture seeking professional help for behavioral issues is considered humiliating or embarrassing. So if an “angry young man” is asked to go to an Anger Management therapist, he would decline the offer without giving it a single thought. It’s sad and has to change. But nonetheless it is very important that we educate each other on the cures and most importantly, the symptoms of anger! I have managed to compile this list by filtering some online researches I made. I think the following symptoms are more familiar to our culture.

 

ü       Explosive outbursts resulting in damage of property (bartan torna) or physical attack (kisi ki phainti lagaana ya kisi ko chapaire karaana)waterball_by_wasiolka

ü       Exaggerate hostility to unimportant irritants (Tumhaari problem kya hay ? Khaanay may itna zyada namak kyun daala!!!??)

ü       Rapid and harsh judgments made about others (Ye saara Shumaila ka kiya dhara hay!!!!)

ü       Use of body language such as tense muscles or clenched fist.

ü       Social withdrawal due to anger (Tum log khaana khao, mujhay bhook nahi hay I’m going to bed)

ü       Refusing to following instructions or rules (Nahi karoonga may homework kya karlaingi aap?)

ü       Verbal abusive language is utilized (Uss saalay ki to #%^#$&^&##^)

 

 

I know some of them sound really normal to many but they aren’t. Many of these “normal” reactions evolve into more serious issues later in life.

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